Protected: Confused.

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fuck global warming …

I think all these hyped up issues about global warming is BULLSHIT!

I mean, take a walk down Orchard Road. Imagine if we just not put up Christmas lighting and decorations for one year, how much electricity can we save? (Not forgetting how much electricity new malls take up due to their architecture – Iluma / Ion)

So what’s the point of the big fuss about conservation, Earth Hour campaign, or some other useless global warming campaign shit? When we just waste our resources for useless commercial uses.

GO FIGURE!

* yea I know, I’m just too cynical for my own good.

Protected: F you! *password protected due to anger vulgarities*

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rejection

I’m not particularly sad or disappointed. I’m a freak by nature anyway. Don’t bother with asking me to cheer up or whatsoever cause I’m NOT sad. And I don’t need people pitying me.

Well … that’s LIFE!

Cursing …

I have a strong desire to curse a lot lately. I actually dislike cursing, but I just can’t help it.

The world, you, I.

The world doesn’t revolve around you.
Stop making yourself seem so important.
You are not the only person in the world.
Seriously!

if you think it’s you, it is you …

Protected: I feel used …

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Studying hard … really hard …

Yesterday was officially a mugging day for me. Well, so is today, though yesterday was a day out studying.

First with the H1 Physics gang, Aishah, Delia and Sockching at Raffles Hospital’s Coffee Bean. We studied until we lose track of time and only had our lunch at 3 plus. Plus lots of great gossips!

After that was Bedok Library with Sockz and Tingx! I quite like Bedok Library’s studying area with the tables set up there. But the place is so cold. I want a new jacket! Maybe shall drag Clem to Mango to check it out again. Haha. I want a pullover though. Well. mugged till the library closed before heading home to relax a little.

I finally finished watching ANTM Cycle 10 yesterday night after my studying session. I loved the top 3. I would be glad if either of them win. I kind of felt so sad to see Fatima and Anya leave. But really, I was quite happy that Whitney won. Like I said, I didn’t mind if either 3 of them win. They all have a tale to tell.

Today is another mugging day. I really really am so afraid! I want to do well during Prelims to be able to go overseas and try to get a scholarship. I am rather worried now.

RAH!

Einstein and his theories are killing me! Why did he discover them in the first place? Now we have to study Quantum Physics!

I Don’t Want To Go To School

Yar, 1 and a half hours before my paper and here I am not wanting to go to school!

Cause I HAVE A FRIGGING HEADACHE!

Man! I should be awarded the most “Heck-Care-About-JCT” student in TJC! Well, I didn’t study much for it anyway. And while others are cramping their nights away, I’m coughing soundly asleep in my bed.

2nd person account …

This is the 7th day Jun Ying has taken ill. She woke up feeling rather well. Her fever’s gone, what’s left is just her flu and cough. Just as she rejoice that she is on her road to recovery, she started to feel pain in her head. Her head grew heavy and her temperature seems to be on the rise again.

Throughout her 7 days of illness. Her fever has shot up to a highest of 38.4°C and lowest of 36.9°C. She must comment that Panadol Cold has its effects, but it isn’t as effective as shown on the commercial. It only works for around 2 hours after consuming the pill. After that you feel like shit horrible again. Though Panadol Cold has helped her through around 2 nights to help her fall into slumber. Though the other night were nightmares to her.

She would like to thank the friends who had wished her well being. Well, only 4 friends and they should know who they are. She acknowledge their care and concern for her and is pleased that she has her WJSC. She wish that this stupid flu would just go away, but it seems like it is here to stay.

OK FINE! It has always been ME typing, just changing all the “I”s, “my”s, “me”s to her and she. I know, my blog is basically turning into a sickness hub with me updating about my condition when hell, nobody actually really cares. But well, I can’t really study much now. I feel like just going into the exam hall and failing everything. After that just confessing to my tutors that I didn’t not study.

OH MY! My blog is getting boring. =.=

I’m dying of this illness too.

p.s. you know, i found THIS SITE about fortune telling playing cards (you know, being bored) and guess which card I got? The Aces of Spade! OH MY!

:( :( :( :( :(

5 cause I am really sad.

I’m up at 7 plus in the morning unable to sleep and hence I finally decided to come online and do something senseless like blogging.

My coughing kept me awake all night. WHY AM I STILL SICK? RAHH! I think once I am fine I would have a very strong lungs from coughing too much.

I’m stuck at home, unable to study. I mean I even have trouble watching tv. I was watching LOTR last night coughing and coughing and sneezing most of the time. I felt so bad I had to lie down and every time I cough, tears would fill my eye (cause I coughed too hard) and I barely even watched anything. Because I watched it before, so I only needed to catch a glimsp here and there to know what is going on. Imagine me studying like that? Nothing will go in.

I feel horrible!

Let the tears fall …

Really, don’t bother commenting about how emo or whatever I am. I’m just like that on my blog. I just need a space to let it all out. I’ll be better once I type it all out and have a good cry. I’ll be the same old bubbly me when you see me.

Perhaps, keeping everything inside is really hard. I never know I was so hurt inside until I finally let it all out. Perhaps, acting that I don’t care makes me care more. Perhaps, trying to act like I’m all strong just makes me weaker. Perhaps … I just can’t take it anymore. Cause I broke down … (and it doesn’t help it when sad songs are playing at the exact moment)

You know, I told myself, it would be the last time I’ll check your blog. And if I can’t get access, I won’t ever visit your blog anymore. Seems like God is helping us save our friendship. Though I know things will never be the same again. And that really hurts. Cause I’m sick of acting that I don’t care anymore. I have friends drift away from me before, but this is the only time I feel so bad.

It hurts a lot …

Yes, I know I have been having too many emo post lately. Been a bad week. Don’t ask. Well, perhaps Clementine and Gwenda knows … but I doubt they will tell you. Anyway, I even have some stuffs that I haven’t told them.

But I really need to let this out, cause it hurts too much!

MY ULCER is KILLING ME! It’s been with me for over a week and it isn’t healing up. Now I’m hurting both on the inside and the outside.

And it hurts even more not showing that I’m hurt at all …

All my worries should just disappear. Maybe, I should just disappear. Tomorrow is being an ARK Ambassador. Hope it would be fun with the class. We got our class tee today. Gonna wear that there before we change into our ARK Ambassador t-shirts once we get them tmr. =D. CG 15/07 makes me happy. Or at least some people do. Well, I take that back, most do! =D

RARR!!! 3

If you think I don’t care, you are wrong.
If you think you are the only one affected, you are wrong again.
I am but a human too. I have feelings too.
I care, I am affected … but I don’t show it …
and that’s the hardest part.

It rained today. And if I don’t have chem spa tomorrow, I would walk in the rain and cry.
For when I cry in the rain, nobody knows that I cried.
But I couldn’t do it. I can’t afford to fall sick.
I miss my friends. Friends who truly cared. Friends who would forgive me even if I did something really unforgivable to them. (yes sockz, you are one of them!)

I like to be the one to give encouragement and support.
But it is nice to receive some sometimes. (thanks sockz and clem for always giving me support when i’m happy or sad)

So many things that I want to say to so many people.
So many thanks I have kept inside.
To my peers, my friends, my family, to everyone.
Too many … but I will tell them …
soon …

*the title is named rarr cause it is just to say that i need to pour out some of my feelings. sorry for the emo post lately. this week hasn’t been good. have been having a lot on my mind. to [name], thanks for spoiling my week by making me mad early in the morning on monday. (only clem and gwenda knows)

RARR!!! 2

I finally cried today. After such a long time of being unable to let those tears fall despite the feeling of wanting to cry. It was letting everything out. It was good to finally cry …

But I learn that crying doesn’t solve anything at all.

After everything, I’m just back to reality again …