Archive for the 'Relationship' Category

12
Nov
10

Protected: Confused.

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27
Nov
09

Protected: why do i get so affected by the smallest things …

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16
Nov
09

Protected: stuck between holding on and letting go …

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29
Jul
09

Fuck feeling …

I feel for you Shane. (Not to mention you are damn right hot!)

From The L Word, Season 1, Episode 13:

Shane: You know, my entire life, people said that … I’ll become a psychopath if I didn’t learn how to feel. And I want to know Cherie what the fuck is so great about feeling. Because I finally let myself … and I feel that my heart’s been completely ripped out.

Cherie: Sorry.

Shane: I had this insane idea that you and I could be together. Because it felt real.

Cherie: That was a delusion.

Shane: Then I was delusional. Because I swear you felt the same way about me.

Cherie: What if I did? What difference would it make? What if the time we spent together I felt more alive in my past 20 years of my life. What if that were true? Do you think that I would leave my husband, my child, my houses in Bel Air and East Hampton, my trips to Paris? My Black Ties Galas, to run to some wreck little love nest, with a 25 year old assistant hair dresser who barely has her foot in the door. In this fucking ugly world, that kind of love does not exist.


Sorting out my feelings now … and it is driving me insane. I was delusional before. I don’t want to be delusional again. I’m just going crazy with these thoughts.

So tell me, what the fuck is so great about feeling?

06
Jul
09

I’m (not) okay …

Random rantings. I assure I’m really fine.

School …

Sometimes, I really hate myself for not getting into SMU. For screwing up that stupid interview, not doing better for my appeal letter. And now I end up in such an expensive course in SIM. I don’t feel good about the high cost of the course.

Well, what can I do, thing don’t always go the way you want.

I don’t like it when people ask me what’s my plans. Or which University I’m going. Or what course I’m taking. Cause I don’t know. I cannot answer them, and I don’t know how to. Not that I’m ashamed of going to SIM or anything. It is just that I have not received any formal news from them. So what should I answer? That I don’t know yet and waiting for the results? When almost everyone knows that by now the results should already be out.

Friends …

Sometimes, I don’t know who are my friends. I don’t know who can stay my friends. I have a feeling some friends will drift apart from me when they start school. Some I have a strong feeling the friendship will stay strong. But I already sense someone drifting … I don’t like the way it’s going …

On a lighter note, Delia, Nan Xiao and I hooked our pinkies as a promise we will live together some day. I don’t know if it is possible, but I do look forward to the day.

Relationships …

I miss you, but I refuse to admit it to myself. I don’t even know what I feel. I don’t even know what this feeling is. I know you feel nothing for me, but the feeling I’m struggling with is not being sad that you don’t feel for me. It is not even know about how I feel for you. But even if I do like you, I won’t even admit to myself that it is true. Dilemma …

Just certain ramblings. It would be best if you just leave this post as it is and don’t come and question me about anything. When I feel like talking about it again, I would. Just don’t bother me about it.

30
Jun
09

Another random msn convos …

My conversation with Bryce regarding relationships … and our views … something interesting pops up!

♥ junying. says:
*i’m some idealist …
*looking for “The One”
this used to be a fun house, now its full of evil clowns says:
*i’m some realist …
*looking for “some one”
*LOL

♥ junying. says:
*LOL
*cool
*i’m gonna blog this

this used to be a fun house, now its full of evil clowns says:
*lols
*hahhaha

Whose side are you on?

27
Jun
09

Friends

Friends … Sometimes I just don’t think I know them anymore.

or rather

Sometimes … I just don’t know who I can call my friends anymore.

23
Aug
08

Low self esteem…

I have a problem with myself. I have a big problem with myself …

I no longer have much confidence in dealing with my friends. I fear … I am really scared. Maybe … too many lost friendships. Maybe … I don’t know.

I never had this problem you know. Neither do I have it with my looks (even though i’m plus size). But with friends, or dealing with people, I just don’t have the confidence. I used to … not anymore.

I fear with every word I say, every expression I have, every thing I do. Will they make people dislike me? Will they be irritated? Will they …

I just don’t have any confidence anymore …

It must be just one of those days …

Or is it?

29
Apr
08

Movie Marathon on it’s way … :D

1. CG 15/07′s MOVIE MARATHON @ Nan Xiao’s is tomorrow night till Thursday morning! :D And my mum actually ALLOWED me to go for the FIRST TIME in my life! She doesn’t usually allow stayovers. Ironically she allows chalets! Haha. I’ll so excited for it. I hope we have nice movies. I just deleted so many good movies from my computer! Or else there will be Freedom Writers, Blood Diamond, Stardust, I am Legend, Sweeney Todd. Now I have none, but I might get Juno and Enchanted by tonight. :D Yarr, corny chick flicks!

2. Allowance is HERE!!! :D

3. Chem Bonding test was a screw up! I actually thought Tetrachloromethane had a giant molecular structure. I MUST have mistook it as a polymer since I was doing the chem TYS on Ethene and Polyethene. xD

4. I am in a slack mood today. I haven’t start doing any work. I just slept my afternoon away. Or rather tried to sleep when it is so HOT!

5. I realise that not bring lecture notes for lecture helps you pay attention. I forgot to bring my chem notes yesterday and I paid attention (Like I said yesterday) And today, Ellyn forgot to bring her maths notes, so I offered to let her do the copying for me. XD And I end up paying a lot of attention then the last lecture which I ended up doodling.

6. I bought 3 earrings from the E-club pushcart today. Despite the fact that I might not have the change to actually wear them since I have an infection on my ear. But they are just so lovely, I couldn’t resist! If I had to wear pure silver or gold, I would have to find a rich boyfriend/husband, or be rich myself, or I would be stuck with the same few pairs of earrings. Which = BORING!!!

7. A girl can never have enough Shoes, Clothes, Jewelery, Makeup, Bags … Well, actually a guy can’t have enough either. Especially if you are a guy like my brother. He has like a NUM slippers, and a pair of Levis Shoes, a pair of Sports Shoes and a new scandals. Plus he has a Levis sling back, Ink sling back, Zinc backpack. He has tonnes of shirts, which he even go to Thailand and Malaysia to get cheap branded / or non branded ones.And I don’t think he is stopping there. The only thing he doesn’t really care about is his hair. He never waxed them. Only until recently which he waxed them really badly, he only does it once in a blue moon. (Though he has 2 bottles of wax) And he just walked past my room as he is on the phone and grinned gleefully at me with a peace sign. =.=

8. I think my brother and I have a very unnatural relationship. From my friends, they either don’t talk to their brother, or fight with their brothers, or they have older brothers who dote on them. My brother and I have a very unnaturally polite relationship where we can even walk to school together. He neither fights with me or dote on me nor do I dote on him either (since I’m the older one). Gone were the days when we stupidly smack each other until we were sore when we were mad at each other. Then we would complain to our mum “No he started it first” or “But she started it first”.

9. My other brother (youngest one) is SICK!!! He has an ear infection (cause he had an ear operation last time … well it’s a long story about the ear operation – it was something he was borned with). He went to the doctor’s this morning as he left school with pair on his ear. Now he has a fever and is resting in his bed. Get Well SOON!!! :(

10. My 2 brothers and I have ear problems. Or rather problems pertaining to the ear. I have a earring infection and I need an operation, so I went to the doctor. My 2nd brother has an incredible amount of ear wax in his ear that it hurts and he just visited the docs to dig it out. My youngest brother now have an infection on the ear, leading to a fever, he also went to a doc! The last time I went to see a doctor was when I was P5 which a bad tummyache. Now I am actually seeing a doctor cause of some aesthetic reasons. – To remove the lump in my ear.

28
Apr
08

Satisfied shopper! :D

1. I bought my pair of boots! Like FINALLY!!! :D They are so lovely! You can ask Delia or Sock Ching. They saw!

  • Delia bought a pair of shoes too. She looks adorable in them! It’s my first time seeing her wearing nice shoes. I need to go out with her more so I can see her in nice shoes.
  • My boots are white. I shall take a photo of them next time I wear them.
  • Now I have 2 new pair of shoes, 1 dress and 2 tops untouched. When can I ever have the chance to wear them out? I want to go out! JC life KILLS!

2. I am going to TJSB BAND CONCERT! With my date – Chun Han! We asked Gernaine dear to join us, so we have be a threesome! :D But Gernaine hasn’t replied.

3. I went online to find out more about the LUMP in my EAR! Turns out it is “Sebaceous cyst“. And it can be removed by surgery which I found out from some forums that it isn’t painful. Turns out that there are people who have the same problem as me! :D I am SAVED!

4. I forgotten to bring my Transition Metals Chem notes for lecture today. But I actually paid attention more than when I do bring my notes and end up doodling on them.

5. I have MYSTERIOUS cuts and insect bites on me. And this is getting freaky! My dad suspect that it is bed bugs on my old computer chair. But my mum says that bed bugs attack a large area, and my bites doesn’t seem that way.

6. Mondays after school from next week on will be CG 15/07 mugging session in TJ Library. All 15/07-ians are welcomed to join us then! :D

7. I realise that the song “No You Hang Up” by Shayne Ward reminds me of someone. Someone who taught me to love, yet someone who broke my heart. But that was ages ago…

8. I can’t believe that people are willing to sell their bodies for money … (yes random comment)

9. I have a Chem Bond test tomorrow which I am barely half way through studying.

10. My handphone is screwed. It did not receive any SMS for the whole weekend. And after I on and off my phone this morning, all the SMS come crashing in. No wonder it felt weird that my phone was quiet this weekend. Sorry to those whom I have not replied your sms. My phone is screwed!

06
Apr
08

Let the tears fall …

Really, don’t bother commenting about how emo or whatever I am. I’m just like that on my blog. I just need a space to let it all out. I’ll be better once I type it all out and have a good cry. I’ll be the same old bubbly me when you see me.

Perhaps, keeping everything inside is really hard. I never know I was so hurt inside until I finally let it all out. Perhaps, acting that I don’t care makes me care more. Perhaps, trying to act like I’m all strong just makes me weaker. Perhaps … I just can’t take it anymore. Cause I broke down … (and it doesn’t help it when sad songs are playing at the exact moment)

You know, I told myself, it would be the last time I’ll check your blog. And if I can’t get access, I won’t ever visit your blog anymore. Seems like God is helping us save our friendship. Though I know things will never be the same again. And that really hurts. Cause I’m sick of acting that I don’t care anymore. I have friends drift away from me before, but this is the only time I feel so bad.
14
Feb
08

Valentine’s Pink, Red, Blues …

It’s Valentine’s Day once again. And to make people feel better about not having Valentines, or Dates, or Bf/Gf or your significant other, TJ calls it FRIENDSHIP DAY! =.= How lame! We even stand at random places so we can make new friends, but we end up only talking to our class people. So it is pointless! Well, let’s just say I’m alone this year, as usual =D So I’m home early to blog about this day. With all my lovely candies and chocolates by my table. Cookies baked by my special darlings. And a rose given to me by my very nice mortal whom I don’t think knows who I am. =D

OK, I’m not exactly alone this year. Cause I have my friends! =D Who cares about men? Sockching just betrayed me and got herself someone special when she keeps saying “Who cares about guys?” Well, I’m glad for her, but at least tell me! Don’t make me find out by myself. Haha. Now you have to suffer the consequences of me announcing to the whole class. And the whole world since I blogged about it. xD

I looked through my post for V day last year and I edited it and combine it in this post. Now let’s cheer for Valentine’s Day!

Continue reading ‘Valentine’s Pink, Red, Blues …’

12
Feb
08

Protected: leaving these behind …

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06
Dec
07

Protected: The ♥ story of my life

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Pages

Wishlist 2010


[ ] GPA of above 3.5
[ ] Dean's list
[ ] Blue black hair
[ ] Rebond hair
[ ] Red Neckermann slippers
[ ] Pair of Wedges
[ ] New G-mask for my Ipod
[ ] Ipod Touch
[ ] Lose weight!
[ ] Save money
[ ] Stop spending so much $$$
[ ] Stop online shopping
[ ] Travel overseas with friends
[:D] Love ♥

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